How To Get More Out Of Life

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Only you have the power to change your life

 

The one thing that I see every day is unhappy, miserable people. Despite my Facebook and Instagram pages filling up with positivity from the wonderful entrepreneurs, travellers and people that grace my newsfeed, I still find the outside world full of individuals who are hating on life, just simply existing rather then living.

One person that springs to mind in particular was a lady that served me in Woolworths the other day. A shortish, middle aged woman stood idly behind her checkout and despite my smile and ‘how are you today’ greeting all I got in response was a grunt. As she packed my goods in a bag and processed my payment, I kindly thanked her and wished her a good day, and of course, not to my surprise she looked down and grunted once again. No thank you, you have a nice day. There were no good manners or courteous exchanges of the sort.

As I walked back to the car, this really got me thinking what in life had caused this woman to be so unfriendly and impolite? Maybe her husband at cheated on her and left her to raise 3 kids alone? Maybe one of her parents had died young and she struggled to live without them? Maybe she just plain hated her job and wanted to be spending time with her grand kids or holidaying in the Caribbean instead? Whatever it was, this lady acted as though the whole world was against her.

Unfortunately this is not a rarity. This woman was one of many people who I see on a daily basis who seem like victims to their own life, one in which they have sacrificed their dreams and happiness to end up in this monotonous, miserable day-to-day existence.

The sad thing is nobody else is to blame but them. Yes, I know this sounds harsh but it is us that chooses how we think and what we think is reflected back to us in the form of actions and experiences within our lives. Now these thoughts may not have been purposely embedded in our brain, they may have derived from beliefs that were drilled into us when we were younger, but they are still OUR thoughts and we must take responsibility of them if we want to change what we give out and get back in life. If we give out unfriendliness and impoliteness, it is highly likely we will get others acting the same in return and attract negative experiences into our life. On the other hand if we give out love and compassion then you can bet that we will attract loving relationships and great opportunities in return.

What I am talking about here is more then this though, so many people I see on a daily basis are not only failing to take responsibility for their thoughts, they are also failing to claim responsibility for their entire life. They work in their current position because the company they work for won’t promote them. They can’t find a job because their are no jobs out there or nobody will hire them. They can’t get good grades because the teacher is to harsh. They can’t leave their job because their husband won’t let them or they can’t afford it. However this victim mentality is just making them fall deeper into the black hole of misery.

We are born into the world as one person, one individual with our own thoughts, personality and beliefs, so why do we let external factors dictate our lives and turn it into something that we have minimal control over. The answer comes down to this- lack of self love.

As we grow from an innocent child into an adult we are influenced by our parents, teachers, friends, neighbours or even in the media who foster beliefs in us that we carry throughout our lives. Some of these beliefs are positive and make us into great people, but others can be negative and self-limiting, degrading our level of self-love and self-worth and it is these beliefs that prevent us from being the extroverted, valuable and full-of-potential person we were all born to be.

Now I am not blaming the people that inflicted these limiting beliefs into our lives, not at all. They were unaware of the power their thoughts and beliefs were having over you at the time, however in order to overcome these and be the person you want to be, live the life you want to live then you need to become aware, take responsibility for your thoughts and change them. The first step to change starts with you.

Of course, change doesn’t happen overnight, it takes time and it is a process. If you can work hard at school, university or in your job, surely you can work hard at the most important thing and centre of all of that: you. The most significant investment you will ever make in your life is in you, but you need to make that decision to start. Nobody can tell you you need to change, nobody can force you to change, you need to be the catalyst for your own migration to your higher self. Once you have conquered your negative thoughts and limiting beliefs, the world becomes your oyster and you become the greatest version of you imaginable, projecting greatness and receiving greatness back into your life.

How do you do it? Well what it entails is the following:

  1. Figuring out the root cause of your negative thoughts and limiting beliefs
  2. Providing yourself with a ridiculous amount of self-love to combat these
  3. Daily, repeated positive affirmations.

 

FIND THE ROOT CAUSE OF YOUR LIMITING BELIEFS

Firstly you must identify where your problems came from. Reflect back to your childhood, as this is usually when these beliefs take their hold on us. I recommend writing in a table, with three headings Belief, Problem and Cause. Then ask yourself for each belief, what is the problem it has caused and the root cause of it, eg. What is the belief- I am not good enough, Problem- I can’t hold down a relationship, Where did this come from- Bullying at school, abandonment, heartbreak. This may take some time and may be a little emotional, but as you work through them you will come to make more sense of your mind and thoughts to be able to change them through self love and affirmations.

LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF

Secondly we must pour immense amounts of self love into ourselves in order to conquer these self-limiting beliefs. Self love is a difficult concept to grasp but if we are going to have any chance of living the life of our dreams and finding our soul mate, then loving yourself is a crucial step. For me, I had to learn to love myself the hard way after becoming ill with Chronic Fatigue but for you I feel this will be a much more self-willing process. Self-love is about treating yourself as if you were a baby, treating your mind and body with all the delicacy and care it deserves.

Some ways include:

  • Doing things you love
  • Surrounding yourself with uplifting people
  • Eating healthy foods
  • Exercising
  • Practicing mindfulness

Trying to avoid practices like comparing yourself to others, criticising yourself and negative thoughts will also make a huge difference, and while these things may take time, you will find your love for yourself increase profusely when you let them go. Try and make a daily practice of self love, as the more we practice loving ourselves daily, the greater overall love we will end up accumulating.

PRACTICE DAILY AFFIRMATIONS

A great way to re-frame your negative thoughts and retrain your mind to think more positively is through the practice of repeated daily affirmations. Every day for 10-15 minutes sit yourself in front of a mirror and repeat 5-10 positive affirmations that link in with your personal values and that reflect parts of your life that you need to work on. Personally, based on my goals to recover from Chronic Fatigue and build a successful business, my affirmations are centered around these core ambitions. I have listed some great resources for positive affirmations below for you to practice:

35 Affirmations That Will Change Your Life

Louise Hay Affirmations

Wherever you are in this world, you truly deserve to be living the life to the full. With the help of this 3 tier process- uncovering limiting beliefs, loving yourself and positive affirmations- I have no doubt that you will be able to unlock your full potential and get to achieving those goals you have set out in your life. All you need to do is take responsibility for your life and choose to take this first step.

Stay tuned, there will be many more resources on how to transform your life coming soon!

Peace and love

-the Soulful Wanderer

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The Self-Love Journey

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Self-love has never come easy for me.

As somebody who was naturally shy and introverted, had a rough upbringing in a tense environment, was victim to the bullying and bitchiness at my all girls school, self confidence and self-esteem were never my strong points. And realising I was gay later in life didn’t help either.

So now, at this ripe old age of 28 and suffering chronic illness, naturally all of these feelings have come to the surface and created a need for me to address them with self-love. And the reading from a psychic recently has emphasised that requirement.

Last week, after months of uncertainty and curiosity over the future direction of my life following the break up and resignation of my job, I decided to consult with a psychic in the hope that would give me some kind of direction with my life.

And after much anticipation, the result was a little more comforting then what I thought it would be.

Firstly, and not by any coincidence I think, I found out that my psychic also suffered from Chronic Fatigue. What are the odds of that? I guess this illness is coming more prominent but cannot help but feel this was a sign from the universe!

Secondly, what she said about my current and not-to-distant future situation really helped me see some clarity. In a nutshell, this is what she said:

  1. The reason why I feel as though I am not making progress with my recovery is because my life is at a stand-still and the only thing that will move me forward is radical self love. I must learn to listen to my body more and praise it for what is doing to help me recovery instead of constantly criticising and putting myself down for the things I can’t do. If I am able to, with the help of Mother Mary and Archangel Isis learn to love myself immensely, then my chances of recovering by December 2017 will be greatly improved. I also need to focus on taking slow steps, not setting too bigger goals and enjoying complete rest days when required without feeling guilty.
  2. My relationship with my ex was not a loveless one. My ex did love me and care about me however realised that she had lost control of her life and of the relationship. The break up was her attempt to regain that control and to deal with the issues that had been holding her back. Apparently, she did have regrets about the ending of the relationship and within the next 18 months or so I will receive clarity around that.
  3. In the next 3 months I just need to focus on taking things easy and doing things that I enjoy and that make me happy. Reading, writing, getting out in nature, training, exploring, socialising, cooking, yoga and meditating. All of the things that make me the more grounded person that I am
  4. Between now and 6-8 months time I will surround myself with a network of positive, uplifting women that will help in the healing process. In the process I will meet or may have already met a person who could potentially be my soulmate, if I chose, or at least a friend and within a few months we will move in together. It is my call if this eventuates into anything more.
  5. Within the next 2 years, I will own and operate my own successful business. I will firstly get involved in digital marketing, combined with my marketing expertise, to generate some income, and then eventually will create a business in my own desired field. She also advised me that a job will come up in the next few months that will be a gift from the universe.
  6. She advised me not to stress about money as in a few months I will be offered some money as a gift and encouraged for me to take it. I will also find a way to conquer my financial woes but I just need to relax for now. There is plenty of money in the world and it will find it’s way back to me.

So I guess, from all of that, the most enlightening part was that I need to focus on loving myself and from there everything else will fall into place. Therefore I have made a vow to myself, from this moment forward I will focus on me, putting 100% into making myself the loving, healthy and healed person I was meant to be.

A lot of it will require retraining my thoughts and I intend to do that through meditation, positive affirmations, gratitude and self development books and podcasts. I vow to only surround myself with positive people that lift me higher and avoid those who attempt to bring me down or bring drama into my life. And I refuse to let any type of negative talk or criticism find it’s way into my mind. There is only space for love, kindness and positivity in this mind of mine.

I will avoid comparing myself to others, putting myself down or punishing myself for mistakes and avoiding dealing with my issues. I will stop feeling rushed, like I have to make up for all the time I lost being sick, and push myself to achieve goals that I am not ready to achieve. I will achieve great things in due time, I just need to be patient and believe in the power of the universe.

I must also learn that I cannot rely on anybody to fill my void, that only I can fill that with love and kindness for myself. I am the most important person in the world and nobody can love me until I learn to love myself and the beautiful person that I am, and I can feel that I am getting there. I do love myself to a degree, but the rough days where the depression emerges, I need to learn to conquer that. Once I overcome this, then when something eventuates into a more beautiful relationship with a girl that I meet, then I will be ready.

So right now my main focus is this: radical self love, beautiful friendships and exploring all of the things that I enjoy and make me who I am. I will immerse myself in nature, writing, training at the gym, yoga, meditation, personal development, reading and building great relationships with incredible people. And then will great things follow- love, happiness and abundance.

I am on the pursuit of happiness.

Don’t mind me while I learn to fly.

teaghanlee xxx

 

Midnight Revelations

Last night, at midnight, in a club of hundreds of people, I had a revelation.

Out of all places, who would of thought that on the dance floor of an Irish pub, in your sober state and surrounded by ruthless, intoxicated beings that you could have a moment. Well I confess, it happened to me.

Ever since the break up, I have been going through some major adjustments in the journey to try and find myself once again. Adjusting to being alone, finding my new routine and rediscovering my happiness. And boy, has it been an arduous and overwhelming process.

Naturally, when you emerge from a relatively long term relationship, in your state of bitterness and hurt, you kind of want to get out there and just have some random hookups to rub in your ex’s face. To show them that this is what they are missing out on, to make them jealous. Or to help mask the pain you are feeling with some other level of attachment. Not only did I feel I wanted to do this, despite the amicable breakup, but I put an imaginary sense of pressure on myself to do so. I did this, as the old, insecure and superficial me would once do. A person I thought had disappeared from my life forever.

After a few weeks, post break up (or maybe a week), I put myself on all the latest dating sites. Tinder, HER, Plenty of Fish, whatever I could find. I was just so clouded and keen to fill that void. And just quietly after 3 years of a relationship, was keen to get on the Tinder band wagon to see what all the hype was about. Now that I reflect, it’s a pretty stupid concept though, selecting girls and matching with them based on a picture. A true connection is centered around so much more then that. But admittedly, I did meet some cool people in the few weeks of my tinder/online dating journey.

In the whirlwind of emotion, I also felt it was essential to get myself back into the partying scene to try and get myself out there as much as possible (god knows why as I had had no success with this in the past). But after being in Melbourne for almost 3 years and having no idea of the latest lesbian night club hot spots, this was going to prove to be a bit of a challenge. And a scary one with the concept of not knowing any other lesbians in Melbourne. If I was back in Sydney, I would have been able to reconnect with all my gay friends and once again hit my fave lesbian pubs and clubs. But here, I was pretty alone.

In my journey’s on Tinder, I was lucky enough to meet some girls that kind of showed me the ropes when it comes to the Melbourne lesbian night life scene. However I knew my biggest challenge would not be finding cool places to hang out. The biggest challenge would be managing chronic fatigue with the required party lifestyle that I believed I needed to live out to meet girls. And learning to find a balance. Lets just say, late nights, drinking and lots of socialising don’t play out too well when you have limited energy levels. And managing that in between working, exercising and eating healthy was definitely going to be difficult. But if I wanted to meet new girls, this was the only way I could do it, wasn’t it? Well according to the old me, this was the case.

In the weeks, up until last night I focused on this mentality. As I scrolled through the profiles on Tinder and HER and the endless amounts of girls depicting drinking as a hobby or an essential in their pictures, I felt even more pressure to cave into the societal norms. Drinks, drinks and more drinks was the way it had to be if I wanted to find someone new. Or even just a new bunch of friends to hang out with. In hindsight, this was all probably a stupid idea.

On a few occasions, I ended up at some gay clubs where I bared witness to the new lifestyle I felt obligated to be a part of. I drank way too many shots, I danced way too much, perhaps even on a stage as well, and I made out with some pretty gorgeous girls. In those moments, I was happy and loving life. Was this what I really wanted though? To party all night to suffer the next day, even week after? To make an idiot of myself and make myself vulnerable after way too much alcohol? I guess I was just too clouded by my mission and hurt to think straight.

But last night, I finally realised something. This lifestyle, this so called obligation that I had pressured myself to give in to, it is not me.

For the past few years after getting chronic fatigue, I have battled so hard to change my thinking, my habits and my lifestyle. Instead of drinking shit loads of coffee to get through the day, keeping busy to the point where I never stopped, exercising like a machine and partying like crazy, I now preferred drinking tea, pacing my days, walks in the sunshine and Netflix and chilling as an alternative. My illness had come not to punish me or make me suffer, but as a blessing in disguise that allowed me to re-evaluate my life.

In that moment, while looking around the room at all the people making a mess of themselves, stumbling out of the toilet or dry humping in the corner, I came to the conclusion that I am not like this anymore. No longer did I feel like getting inebriated, hooking up with straight girls or dancing like I have had way to much vodka red bull. All I wanted to do was meet new people and have deep conversations about life. I had become a changed woman. And the changed woman was not having a bar of this orthodox lifestyle.

For weeks I had been fighting this inner me, the true me that I had become. Truth be told, I had probably been battling it for so much longer. Why? Because it seemed so different from the norm and nobody wants to feel different, even me. All I have ever wanted to do was fit in. But was it really worth sacrificing my newly invested values for? Probably not.

I cannot describe it, but I have always felt like I have never fit in. Even since the days of high school where I much preferred keeping to myself then conversing with people.But especially these days, after finding my new self, in every day society I feel it even more. And this has been one of the biggest challenges in my recovery. Not only have I had to adjust to life with a chronic illness, but I have had to deal with the fact that I am definitely different and think a lot differently to many of those around me. Or maybe I am just associating myself with the wrong people?

Now, I am not trying to sound egotistical nor am I degrading the lives of others around me. Each life has tremendous value, but it is up to that person to discover it. And I truly feel as though I am discovering mine as I operate on this deeper level of consciousness.

I am engaging on a spiritual journey, a life-changing shift and in this quest have discovered so much more about life then I ever thought imaginable. And it has made the little things in life, the petty things, seem so much more trivial. Bitchiness, negativity, drama, hatred, who has time for that? Well when you have limited energy and are on a quest to restore it, you learn that you don’t need pointless, energy-draining things like these in your life to deter you from what is really important- living life. It is the deeper things in this world that provide the most meaning and happiness. The kindness of a stranger, the beauty of nature, the feeling of overcoming your deepest fears, the moment you fall in love. One your death bed, it is these things that you will remember, that will matter.

In all the hype of clubbing, partying and drinking, I found myself contemplating all of these things. Drinking lemon water, having a deep intellectual conversation about life and drowning out all the music and chatter around me, the discovery hits me smack bang in the face. I am made for bigger things then this. And if I keep giving in to these imaginary obligations and trying to fit in with people with different priorities to mine, I will definitely end up back on the path I was on before chronic fatigue came and changed my life course. And that I do not want! So its time for me to get back on track despite this small hiccup of a distraction.

With the help of yoga, meditation, tai chi and healthy eating, I have found that I can derive more happiness from life then I ever thought humanly possible. In transforming from this old excessively energetic, frantic individual to this new, deeper and more centered soul, I am more in love with myself and my life then ever before. No longer can I try and be like everybody else and give into these societal and cultural norms. No longer should I feel like a weirdo for being different. No longer should I be distracted from my life purpose. I must stay true to myself and continue this personal journey that I am on.

For once in my life, my future is clear. Despite the shake up of a break up sending me slightly off course, I now know that I have been redirected back onto the right course. And my god the future is looking bright! World, you better watch out. Dare I say, there may still be some obstacles, like the aforementioned, that I may need to overcome but with each victory, I become a stronger, more intuitive person. And for that I am completely grateful.

What I want now in life is completely separate from anything the old me ever desired. I WILL travel the world, writing and sharing my passions with the people I meet and the one person who makes me happier then I make myself (you know who you are). I WILL continue to meet like-minded people and immerse myself in cultures who share the same morals and drive for life as I do. I WILL continue to fill my body with amazing, healthy foods that fuel me with the energy I need to live life to the full. I WILL restore my life energy and recover from chronic fatigue using yoga, nutrition, meditation and tai chi to help fellow sufferers and inspire them to reclaim their lives. I WILL complete every single thing on my bucket list. I WILL be unstoppable, courageous and infuse positive energy into the lives of others and the world around me.

I do not have time to waste on not being the authentic me.

This is my life purpose. Ain’t no time for diversions now baby.

Get out and live yours!

teaghanlee xxx

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stop Stressing, Start Living!

Approximately 3 years ago, my life was changed forever.

After partying way too hard in between studying to become a Personal Trainer, working two jobs (JB HI FI and Platypus Shoes), training like a machine and pursuing endless amounts of women, I found my energy came to screaming halt. As a type A personality, I struggled to get through one day of work, found myself unable to communicate with people coherently and the simplest of tasks became a challenge. After pushing and pushing, my body finally cried for help.

At first, I had no idea what was going on with me and to be honest, thought I was losing my mind. So many horrible thoughts went through my mind. And endless doctors visits and research didn’t soothe my concerns either as they all came back with no answers.

After two years of being passed around from doctor to doctor and being told multiple times it was all in my head, I was finally given a diagnosis. The process of elimination revealed that I had an autoimmune disease called Fibromyalgia, but the main catalyst causing my body so much havoc was a condition known as Chronic Fatigue.

When people throw this name around, naturally you think it means just being really tired. Well let me tell you it is so much more then that! Categorised by aching muscles, a weakened immune system, debilitating fatigue, severe cognitive difficulties, depression, high stress and anxiety levels and horrible digestive issues, chronic fatigue or myalgic encephalomyelitis as it is more scientifically known, affects your entire body. Nervous system, immune system, endocrine system, musculoskeletal system, digestive system and cardiovascular system- no part of you is left unaffected.

So this sounds pretty frikon horrible right? Well it is. But to be completely honest it is also the best thing that has ever happened to me. As crazy as that sounds, despite sending my body into complete breakdown, putting my career on hold and causing severe stresses on my financial situations and relationships, chronic fatigue has taught me so much about myself and life.

In today’s society, we live in a world where everybody is pushed to their limits. We have all become workaholics, caught up in the toxicity of technology and social media, a money obsessed culture and ultimately, have become a socially inept, media driven society. We no longer engage in meaningful conversations because we are too busy working in a job that we hate to earn money to pay off our compulsive spending habits and pay off a mortgage for a house we will eventually grow old and die in. We come home and watch Netflix or the news to unwind. We focus on the monstrosities that are making the news and destroying our world like terrorism, shootings in America and Kim and Kanye’s new baby but ignore calling that relative we haven’t spoken to in years or the friend who has sent us countless facebook messages that we don’t have time to respond to.  And how is that making people feel? Stressed, bitter and lonely. So where is the part about living?

Well from my personal experience, I have learned a lot about living. And if you just take time the time to try them out, I assure you, your life will improve immensely and your happiness levels will soar.

  1. MEDITATE…I cannot emphasise this enough. In this busy, fast paced society it has become increasingly difficult to unwind and shut off. If we aren’t working on a computer screen then we are on our phones playing candy crush or Tindering. And you may think that is switching off, but trust me it is far from it. Meditation is one of the most powerful tools to allow your body and mind to relax. There are some good apps such as Smiling Mind which allow you to ease yourself into the process if you find it difficult. Start off with 5 minutes a day and you’ll find once you get the hang of it and see the benefits, such as greater clarity, reduced stress and better decision making, you will want to do it every day for at least 20 minutes or so! I highly recommend checking out Michael Sealey and Jason Stephenson on Youtube. Some of my personal faves!
  2. YOGA…If you have not tried yoga before, you most definitely need to get on the yoga bandwagon. Before you start making excuses you most definitely don’t have to be flexible for this one. You will become more flexible as you keep practicing, trust me. Yoga takes stretching to a whole new level and never ever has your body felt so good! Combined with controlled breathing exercises, it allows you to build muscle, increase blood flow, boost immunity and strengthens your bones and joints. Not only that but it regulates your adrenal glands and aids your nervous system, lowering cortisol levels to make you feel less stressed and happier. A good way to start is in the comfort of your own home and then slowly progress to classes as you feel more comfortable. Check out Yoga with Adriene and Yoga by Candance on Youtube. Daily Yoga is also a great app to check out.
  3. BREATHING EXERCISES…Controlled breathing is an absolute wonder for stress relief! Incorporated into both Tai Chi and Yoga, breathing is a great way to centre your nervous system and ground yourself. A great example of the power of breathing exercises is the Ice Man, Wim Hof who has taught himself to regulate his metabolism, heart rate and blood circulation to be able to withstand freezing temperatures. Similar to Yoga, controlled breathing allows you to become more conscious of and more connected to your mind and body whilst improving the efficiency of the respiratory, immune and cardiovascular systems. If you have a spare 5 minutes while commuting to work or on your lunch break, check it out to reap the benefits. I suggest checking out Wim Hof’s breathing techniques on Youtube or Pranayama breathing on Youtube or on the app store is also a great technique to try.
  4. TAI CHI…After reading a book on Tai Chi I am absolutely obsessed with not only the practice but it’s core principles and now try to incorporate it into my everyday routine. Tai Chi, derived from China is part of the Taoism philosophy and centres around the chi, which is our life force. We are all born with a pure chi, but toxicity from everyday life damages our life force reducing our energy levels and connection to our inner being. Through the art of moving meditation and slow, controlled movements, Tai Chi focuses on realigning our mind and body with our original source of energy. Its definitely worthwhile doing some research on but in the meantime try it out for yourself. There a plenty of guides on Youtube to help you with the exercises.

These may sound complicated, but trust me the consequences of not learning to manage your stress and balance your life is far worse. And once you are able to manage all of this, everything else falls into place. You are able to excel at work. Your goals become more aligned. And you have greater clarity on what you want in life. Not only that but your whole entire life becomes more productive and the quality of your life and positivity you experience is phenomenal! You attract the right people, the right vibes and of course you reap the rewards.

It is amazing what reduced stress levels can do!

Hit me up if you need any guidance.

teaghanlee x